Harry Potter and the Fancy Tuna
by FarSideOfTheRoom
Summary: When Hogwarts gets a group of exchange students that aren't exactly the norm, things get a little strange.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So I was reading some Harry Potter/Ouran High School Host Club crossovers, and I decided that there are too few of them. So I decided to write one. Not really sure where this is going to go. Not sure of the pairings yet. Probably some eventual slash. I hope you enjoy. Please R&R, I want to know if you think I should continue this.

Disclaimer: All the characters belong to either J.K. Rowling or the creator of Ouran High School Host Club.

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Chapter 1:

Away From the Host Club

"Now that we have all been fed and watered, I have a few start of term announcements to share. Mr. Filch has asked me to remind you of all the off limits items. There is a full list available in his office," Dumbledore began. Harry felt his attention begin to drift as Dumbledore talked of school rules in his beginning of year speech.

"Finally, Hogwarts will have the honor of hosting another wizarding school this term."

Interest in Dumbledore's speech was heightened; Dumbledore, well aware of this, smiled and continued on, "Visitors from Ouran Academy in Japan will be joining us at the end of the month. I ask that you make them feel comfortable and at home here."

Dumbledore had concluded his speech, and the students were dismissed. The subject of choice amongst the students, of course, seemed to be the visitors from Japan. Hermione seemed particularly fascinated.

"Japan! Oh, I've never met foreign wizards from that far away. I have to many things I want to ask them!" Hermione began as Harry, Ron, and Hermione left the Great Hall.

"Calm down, Herm, they're just kids," Ron rolled his eyes. Their fights had been getting more and more frequent ever since Hermione had started dated Viktor Krum the year previous. Hermione shot him a dark look.

"I'm sure Harry's excited, aren't you Harry?" Hermione looked at him.

"Oh, yeah, fascinated," Harry replied distantly, not paying attention to either one of them.

"I wonder what they'll be like?" Hermione mused.

"Guys, I can't let you pay for my trip!" Haruhi groaned.

The Host Club was assembled in Music Room 3. Haruhi was arguing passionately with the other hosts as to whether or not they could pay for her to spend a school year in Britain. She told them they couldn't. They thought otherwise.

"Au contraire, Haruhi, we have paid for it already," Tamaki grinned.

"What? You guys, that's a lot of money!" Haruhi shouted.

"Not really," Hikaru chimed in, "We all paid a little bit, and you forget, we're all rich."

"What about my dad? I can't just leave him here for a whole school year!'

"I talked to your father several weeks ago when the opportunity arose. He is perfectly fine with your trip, and insists you go," Kyoya put in, looking up for his book across the room and pushing up his glasses.  
"Figures," Haruhi muttered, "Fine. When do we leave?"

"I am so excited for the Japanese visitors," Hermione cooed the day they were scheduled to arrive.

"Calm down, Hermione. They're just people," Ron sighed.

"This from the boy who wanted Viktor Krum's autograph," Hermione scowled at him.

Harry was getting sick of their constant bickering. Maybe he could befriend the exchange students and escape Ron and Hermione for a while. He smiled as he mulled over the idea, only half-thinking he would do it. McGonagall was ushering them all outside and into lines, by house and by age. It was the same way they had been arranged for the Beauxbatons and Durmstrang visitors. Harry wondered what kind of dramatic measures these students would arrive by. The students stared expectantly at the sky, the lake, and the grounds, unsure as to where the students would be coming from.

All of a sudden, hundreds of rose petals seemed to erupt out of midair. As they settled, Harry saw nine people walk through the petal-filled air. The first one was clearly their professor, as he was the oldest by at least 20 years, and had the lined face of a middle-aged man. Dumbledore approached this man and bowed. The other professor bowed in response.

"Suoh, good to see you again." Dumbledore greeted him warmly.

"Good to see you as well," the professor named "Suoh," spoke in flawless English, barely an accent, "These are my students." The man responded.

Harry looked at the students. There were eight of them, seven boys and one girl. They had strange uniforms; indeed, they more resembled muggle clothing than wizard clothing. The boys were dressed in black slacks and bright blue jackets hanging upen, with white shirts and black ties. The girl was wearing a yellow dress and a large bow. Harry then looked at each student as they passed, for Dumbledore had invited Suoh and his students into the Great Hall.

Leading the group was a boy who clearly did not have confidence issues; he was tall, a few inches taller than Harry, with blond hair and blue eyes. He carried himself in a confident manner. They boy behind him looked severely un-interested in the situation. Taller than the blond, this boy had dark hair and wore black-framed glasses. He pushed the glasses up on his nose, pulled a black book out of his pocket, and began to write something down.

After that came two people that make Harry's jaw drop. Twins. Identical. And red-headed. Practically the Japanese doppelgangers of Fred and George. After them was the girl. She had brown hair, and was looking around at everything. Next came two more boys; a tall, the tallest of all of them, dark-looking one, and a smaller blond one who appeared to be no more than seven. The smaller one was sitting astride the other one's shoulders, and was waving a stuffed rabbit around.

At the end of the train was the last boy. He was… pretty. Not that Harry thought he was attractive, there was just no other way to describe it, the boy was pretty, and had feminine features, with brown hair and large brown eyes. He slouched a little, and looked agitated.

Then they all passed, and Dumbledore called the rest of them into the hall.

The Hogwarts students took their seats and Dumbledore invited the Ouran students to sit as well. The bond boy who had lead the train of students marched straight over to the Gryffindors and sat down. The rest of the students, presumably friends with him, followed to sit with the Gryffindors. Harry was glad that Gryffindors had the company, by the was so far away he couldn't see them properly.

Dumbledore offered Suoh a seat, and then began to speak.

"A welcoming round of applause for Suoh-Sensei and his students at Ouran Academy."

The Great Hall applauded politely.

"Now, Suoh-Sensei will not be staying with us this term, but his students will be. I trust that you will treat them kindly and help them get adjusted to spending their next term here. I only have one thing left to say: tuck in."

Dumbledore sat and their plates filled with magnificent food. After the meal, Dumbledore dismissed them all, and asked for the Ouran students to stay. Harry presumed that it would be about their living arrangements; they didn't seem to travel in what they were staying in, like the Beauxbatons and Durmstrang delegates had. However, when he, Ron, and Hermione passed the doors in the Entrance Hall leading onto the grounds, there was a large, and by large Harry meant ridiculously massive, carriage made out of an enormous rose sitting outside. _"Huh,"_ Harry thought, "_That must have been how they got here_."

"Welcome to Hogwarts, my dear delegates from Ouran," Dumbledore greeted the Host Club and their manager.

"I presume that you will be staying in your carriage and sleeping arrangements will not need to be made?"

"The carriage will be where they stay, yes." Suoh-Sensei responded.

"Well then, I trust you also have your books?"

"Yes Dumbledore." Suoh-Sensei again answered for them.

"Well, then," Dumbledore clapped his hands together and smiled at the students, "We will get you your class lists in the morning, but now, I am sure you are very tired and wanting some sleep. Good night to you all. Suoh, a nightcap?"

The hosts and Renge departed from Dumbledore and their headmaster, and made their way out to their carriage.

"Well, I think this trip will be absolutely splendid," Tamaki announced.

Haruhi rolled her eyes. Surely already the boss was coming up with some ludicrous plan to start a Host Club at Hogwarts or something.

"I think we should start a host club at Hogwarts!" Tamaki said, thrusting his hand upward, enunciating his idea.

Haruhi rolled her eyes again, "_Oh great_," she thought, "_Even when I'm away, I'm never away from the host club."_


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Finally the second chapter of Harry Potter and the Fancy Tuna! Sorry this took so long, but I had no idea what was going to happen in this chapter. I knew what was going to happen later on, but I wasn't sure how to get there. So it took me forever to write this chapter. And this chapter is more of a filler chapter, but it's a chapter nonetheless. Thank you all for your support, and I'm sorry I made you wait so long. I hope you enjoy. Please R&R.

Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters belong to J.K. Rowling, and all Ouran High School Host Club belong to Bisco Hatori.

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Chapter 2:

Be My Guest

Harry woke to the noise of shuffling in the dormitory. His roommates had begun to rise, and Harry grudgingly pulled himself from sleep and the bed. Their classes were continuing as usual, but with the addition of the exchange students. It was earlier than their usual waking time, Harry noticed begrudgingly, and as he pulled his pajama shirt off Harry wondered if it had anything to do with the students general interest in the Ouran exchange students. Harry pondered this as the boys dressed in silence, then shuffled out of the dorm and down the stairs. Ron and Harry waited dutifully for Hermione, and when she joined them, they trundled down to the Great Hall for an early breakfast.

It seemed that the majority of the school had awakened earlier than usual to attempt to catch a glimpse of the foreign visitors. Harry remembered the mayhem that the Durmstrang and Beauxbatons visitors had caused the year previous, and wasn't surprised that many people were up that early. Unfortunately for all that were hoping to get to know these new students, it did not appear that any were up yet. Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat down at the Gryffindor table and commenced their breakfast.

Harry wouldn't have noticed the presence behind him if it had not been for the whispering. The hall seemed to have quieted in volume, but the whispers buzzed like bees behind him. Harry turned to see one of the exchange students nearby him. It was the short dark-haired male, the one that looked so astonishingly feminine. He smiled.

"Hi, um, do you mind if I sit here?" he flashed a warm smile that Harry found himself returning.

"Sure," Harry smiled and scooted over to his right on the bench, so the boy could take the seat next to him.

"Thanks. I guess I'm an earlier riser than my friends," he almost seemed to hesitate on the word friends, but smiled all the same, heaping eggs onto his plate, "They're not that used to getting up early. I'm Haruhi Fujioka," he extended a hand to Harry. Harry took it.  
"I'm Harry Potter," Harry nodded.

Then Haruhi did something that Harry did not expect. He smiled and nodded and continued to look unwaveringly into Harry's eyes, before releasing his hand and returning to his breakfast.

Harry was stunned. Perhaps it was the fact that Haruhi was from Japan. Perhaps Harry was not as well known in Japan. Or perhaps it was Haruhi himself to whom it did not matter who he was having breakfast with. Perhaps Haruhi was the type of person to not get starstruck. But he was not used to magical people not knowing who he was. And Harry liked this.

"So, what year are you in?" Harry inquired, munching on a piece of toast.

"First," Haruhi poured herself a goblet full of pumpkin juice. Harry choked on his toast.

"First year? You don't look near that young!" Harry exclaimed.

"Oh, I'm sorry! That's… that's wrong. I'm a first year at Ouran. Here… I think you call it… a 5th year?" Haruhi blushed.

"Oh. Okay. Hey, that's the same year as me," Harry stated.

"Well, I'm glad I know someone now. Maybe I can get away from those dang twins," Haruhi smiled.

"The twins with you?" Harry asked.

"Yeah. Hikaru and Kaoru. They're in my year too."

"Well, would you like to meet some more people in your year?" Harry asked.

"Sure," Haruhi nodded.

Harry turned around to Ron and Hermione, who were actually having a civil conversation.

"Hey, guys. I want you to meet someone," Harry said. Hermione and Ron turned towards him. Harry leaned back so they could see Haruhi.

"Haruhi, this is Ron and Hermione. Hermione and Ron, Haruhi."

Hermione leaned across Harry to shake Haruhi's hand. Ron nodded hello.

"I was wondering who Harry was talking to. It's good to meet you Haruhi. Am I saying that right, Haruhi? I'm so excited that you've come to Hogwarts, what year are you in? I hope you don't mind, but I'd love to be able to talk to you sometime about… about… well, everything, your culture, your school, what it's like in Japan," Hermione was breathless by the end of her speech. Haruhi took it in stride.

"Sure. Actually, Tamaki, the blond boy from my school, is going to get a… club of sorts started, so we can… meet the students here. I would love for you to come and be my guest." Haruhi flashed an effortless smile.

Hermione blushed, "I… that would be lovely, Haruhi."

Harry continued to talk with Haruhi throughout breakfast until her overly exuberant friends arrived. After seeing them interact with her, Harry wasn't surprised that Haruhi had chosen to wake early to escape them. The tall dark one seemed calm enough, and he tended to the small blond boy the majority of the time. The other dark-haired boy with the glasses greeted Haruhi kindly as he entered the Great Hall, then pulled out a small black book that he wrote in while eating his breakfast. The girl was energetic and bounced around the hall, talking to everyone that would stop to talk, and took a seat beside the small blond boy. The twins and the other blond, whom Haruhi had called Tamaki, paid more attention to Haruhi.

The twins, who still discomforted Harry for their large resemblance of Fred and George, draped themselves over an uncomfortable-looking Haruhi. They eventually left him to his breakfast, looking disheveled and uncomfortable.

"Sorry about that, they… have the tendency to be physical with… well, me," Haruhi frowned.

The boy named Tamaki did not seem overly happy about Haruhi coming to breakfast without him. He rushed into the hall, calling his name. Haruhi blushed scarlet and shouted back.

"What is it, sempai?"

Tamaki noticed him and ran over to him.

"Haruhi! There you are! Don't ever scare daddy like that again! I didn't know where you were!" Tamaki flung his arms around Haruhi and rocked him back and forth. Haruhi struggled against his arms.

"Sempai, get off! I just walked in the building! It's not a big deal!"  
"I was so worried! Don't you ever do that again! Promise me!"  
"If I promise, will you get off?" Haruhi cried.

"Promise first!"  
"Okay, okay, I promise! Jeez!" Haruhi threw Tamaki's arms off of him. Tamaki took the seat beside Haruhi, and pulled her into a conversation that she could not get out of.

Harry did not see Haruhi until Care of Magical Creatures later that day. Harry was glad of the company, as they were working on bowtruckles in pairs. This gave Harry a chance to escape from Ron and Hermione, who were both quarreling and working together, and Haruhi a chance to escape the twins, who were also in their class.

"I have a question to ask you," Haruhi began over their bowtruckle.

"Sure, go ahead."

"Well, like I said at breakfast, Tamaki is wanting to start a club here. I was wondering if you knew of a place were we could hold meetings… well, your teachers are a bit more traditional than the ones at Ouran, so I'm not sure if they would be okay with the idea of what we're doing. So I wondered if you knew of a place where we could meet, semi-secretly."

"What are you guys doing?" Harry cocked a curious eyebrow.

"It's called a Host Club. I'm not sure if you have anything like it here. You… wouldn't be that comfortable there. But we entertain women. Nothing sexual, really, we just entertain them. I'm not sure how open your teachers would be to that."

"Ah," Harry furrowed his brows and grinned, "Well, I suppose you would want the Room of Requirement."

"What's that?"  
"A room that will present itself in the way the seeker needs it. I can show you how it works sometime," Harry nodded.

"Thanks! Haruhi grinned.

"Sure."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Sorry (once again) for my delay in posting. I know I've been promising this chapter for a while, but I have trouble getting past the 3rd chapter hump. It seems with every long-term fic I write that I get stuck on the 3rd chapter. But here it is. So hopefully I'll get more chapters posted more frequently. Tell me what you think! Please R&R, and enjoy!

Disclaimer: All characters belong to either J.K. Rowling or Bisco Hatori.

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Chapter 3:

Love Fraud

Haruhi returned to the carriage that night exhausted. Hogwarts castle was enormous, not as large as Ouran Academy, but learning a new school had been stressful. The books were larger than the ones that were already located in every classroom at Ouran, and the food was delicious, but very filling, so she was groggy after she ate. She dragged her bag into her compartment of the carriage and was planning on taking a nap before starting her homework until a voice shouted her name.

"Haruhi?" Tamaki called from the common room. Haruhi heaved a deep sigh and begrudgingly trudged back to Tamaki.

"What is it sempai?"

"We're having a host meeting," Tamaki cried exuberantly, patting the spot on the couch next to him, "I was thinking of having a party, introducing all of the hosts and getting to know the lovely girls of Hogwarts. What do you all think?"

"I think it sounds wonderful!" Hunny chirped happily.

"Thank you Hunny. What do the rest of you think?"

"I think it's a good idea. We certainly should expand our markets to Britain. And with these house elves, it will certainly make financing dinners easier on me," Kyoya commented.

"Excellent! Now, does anyone have an idea where we could meet? Even with magic, I'm not sure this carriage will be large enough to accommodate all the girls of Hogwarts."

"With that being said, I think we should limit the participants to just fourth year and up," Kyoya added, "I'm not sure if the younger girls will be mature enough for a host club."

"A fine idea," Tamaki commented.

"And I know of a place where we can meet," Haruhi interjected for the first time, "I heard of this place called a Room of Requirement. Once I find out where it is, we can check it out."

"And did you find out about this Room of Requirement from your new British friend?" Hikaru said slyly.

"New British friend? What new friend?" Tamaki asked, worried.

"Calm down sempai. He's a boy in my year. He's nice. His name's Harry."

"Harry Potter you mean?" Kyoya pushed his glasses further up on his nose.

"Yeah. How'd you…" Haruhi began.

"I've done adequate research on the culture of British wizards before our trip. I'm surprised that you don't know who he is. He is the boy who reputedly defeated He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named when he was a year old. He attends Hogwarts, and is a Gryffindor in your year."

"Harry Potter!" cried Tamaki, as if he had been aware of all of this the whole time, "And you're friends with him! He would be a splendid asset to the host club! Think of it, The Boy Who Lived, a host! He could be the downtrodden, misunderstood type! Haruhi, you must ask him to join!"

"No! I've just made a friend that wasn't one of you, and I plan on staying friends with him. I'm not asking him to be part of this!"

"You said that Harry told you of a place we could meet, Haruhi?" Kyoya altered the course of the conversation.

"Yeah. He called it a… Room of Requirement. He told me he'd show me where it is."

"Excellent Haruhi," Kyoya said flipping open his black book and scribbling something in it, "ask him to show it to you sometime and while you're there, try and convince him to join the Host Club. Introduce him to the idea slowly, if that makes you feel better. Tamaki's right; he would make a great addition to the club."

Haruhi rubbed her temples with her palms; she knew she had lost this argument.

"Harry, I need a favor, if you don't mind," Haruhi said, embarrassed, as he approached him the next day.

"Sure, Haruhi, what do you need?"

"I need you to show me where that Room of Requirement is, if you don't mind."

"Sure. We have a break today between classes, I can do it then."

"Thanks."

In between their Transfiguration class and Haruhi's Arithmancy class and Harry's Divination, Harry led Haruhi up to the seventh floor and down to the corridor with a tapestry of trolls. He stopped in front of a blank stretch of wall.

"What are we doing here?" Haruhi asked.

"Room of Requirement. Pace back and forth three times thinking of what you need."

"Alright," Haruhi began to walk back and forth in front of the stone wall. After his third pass, a door materialized where there had not previously been one. Haruhi gasped.

"Cool. We don't have one of those at Ouran."

Harry walked up to the door and turned the knob. Inside was a polished-looking room with tables and couches scattered around it. It looked like it did not belong at Hogwarts.

"What is this?"

"A replica of Music Room 3. It's where the host club met at Ouran."

"Wow. Pretty posh."

"It's what the rest of the guys are used to. I'm not that picky," Haruhi shrugged, "And will teachers be able to find this?"  
"Not if you ask for it to be hidden," Harry explained.

"Excellent," Haruhi turned towards Harry, "Well, Harry, this is perfect. Thanks."

"Sure thing. When are you going to be meeting first? Hermione's dying to talk to you about… well, everything."

Haruhi laughed.

"We'll be meeting soon. Once we have a definite time and date, would you mind getting the word out to all the girls in your year?"

"Sure. I'm still confused about what a 'host club' does though."

"We entertain women. As Tamaki says, it's the duty of a Host to make every girl happy. So girls come to our meetings and we talk to them."

"Sounds interesting."

Haruhi chuckled.

"I suppose."

Haruhi returned to the Room of Requirement with the rest of her companions later that day. They were as impressed with the Room's accommodation of their needs as she was.

"Why this is perfect!" Tamaki clapped his hands together and danced into the room, "this looks exactly like our Music Room 3 back home!"

The rest of the group followed apprehensively into the room.

"Takashi, this looks just like our other room! It did a good job!" Hunny cried.

Mori nodded solemnly.

"Well, I think this will fit our needs perfectly," Kyoya scribbled something in his black book before snapping it closed, "Now I just need to speak with the house-elves about arranging food to be delivered to the room. I wonder if the room can conjure up a door down to the kitchens?"

As soon as he asked, a door on the other end of the room materialized.

"Well, that's lovely," Kyoya said, "well, if the meeting with the elves goes well, I think we should arrange for the first Host Club meeting to be in two weeks time. That will give us enough time to get the word out about the club. What do you think, Tamaki?"

"That sounds splendid!" Tamaki was busy opening and closing cabinets.

"Excellent. In two weeks then," Kyoya said, before crossing the room and exiting through the new door.

"Welcome, all, to the first meeting of the Hogwarts Host Club!" Takami cried cheerfully, to the applause of the room full of girls, "Today's meeting is to introduce you to our available Hosts, and will be a meet and greet, so you ladies can get to know all the eligible bachelors in our club! When you leave, make sure you talk to Kyoya, our Vice President, about who you wish to be your Host," more applause, "now, let's introduce our Hosts!"

The applause grew to an even higher level. One by one, the hosts stood in front of the room as Takami introduced them.

"One of our oldest hosts, Mitsukuni Haninozuka, is a seventh year," the petit Hunny skipped up to the front of the room, clutching his stuffed bunny, Usa-chan, "He is our boy Lolita type. He loves cake, his bunny Usa-chan, and his friends. Although he looks young, don't let that fool you, he's an expert martial artist."

Hunny skipped away from the swooning crowd to make way for Mori.

"Takashi Morinozuka is also a seventh year. He is our strong silent type. Like Hunny, he excels in martial arts, favoring the art of kendo."

Mori gave a courteous nod to the crowd before walking away. Next, the twins sauntered over. Hikaru leaned on Kaoru's shoulders.

"Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin are identical twins. Can you tell them apart? These two occupy the 'brotherly love,' niche and are the second and third youngest, in their fifth year."

The twins slinked away as Haruhi drug herself over to the front of the room.

"Haruhi Fukioka is also a 5th year. He is our natural type, but don't let his blunt demeanor discourage you! He is really a sweetheart deep down." Haruhi gave Tamaki a disapproving look at this last comment, and walked off.

"Kyoya Ootori is the Host Club's vice president," Tamaki said as Kyoya stepped in front of the crowd, "he's our cool type. What is he really thinking behind those glasses?"

Kyoya took up Tamaki's spot as announcer as Tamaki sauntered to the front of the crowd.

"Tamaki Suoh is the president and host club king. Of course, he is our princely type, always ready to sweep a lady off her feet."

The first meeting of the host club went well. The hosts met all of the attending girls, and at the end of the meeting, Kyoya took note of which girls would request which host. Kyoya had almost finished when he approached Hermione.

"Hermione Granger, is it? I'm sorry I didn't have much of a chance to speak with you today, but I do hope you would grace us with your presence at our next meeting. Do you know who you would like to request as a host for next time?" Kyoya said cordially.

"Well… I… I don't know. Could I speak with Haruhi for a moment?" Hermione wrung her hands.

Kyoya nodded, "of course." He walked away and returned a moment later with Haruhi, before departing once again.

"What's up, Hermione? Kyoya said that you wanted to talk to me."

"Yes, well, I'm… I'm a little concerned about what you're doing here. You're… you're committing love fraud!"  
"What?" Haruhi seemed a little taken aback, "Not at all."  
"Yes! These girls think that you like them, but it's really to benefit your club!"

"Hermione," Haruhi put his hand on Hermione's arm, "the purpose of the host club is to make every girl happy. And we all do that in different ways, that's why there's so many of us. It's not love fraud, its… making people happy."

Hermione gave him an uncertain look.

"And I would be honored if you would join us next week. I promised you I would tell you about my culture, and I would love to do that."

Hermione smiled timidly.

"Well, I did sort of have a good time."

"There you go," Haruhi smiled.

"Kyoya," Hermione said to him later that day, "I'd like to request Haruhi as my host."


End file.
